Hey John,
Serious question, do you ever get tired of helping people? Or rather… trying to help people? I feel like I’m constantly leading horses to water. Family and friends come to me complaining that they can’t lose fat, can’t gain muscle, and can’t overcome ailments like celiac and IBS…. They ask for advice. I tell them to stop eating processed foods, fast food, pasta, etc, and they almost always freak out and tell me how wrong I am. It’s like people just absolutely refuse to accept that their “beliefs” are wrong. So they continue on believing that eating meat is bad, eating bread and pasta with every meal is good, and running marathons is a sign of health and fitness. I’m often shocked at how people completely deny fast food might not be the best choice for lunch every single day.
As I read through some of the questions on TTMJ, I can’t help but wonder if you ever feel like saying, “Fuck It!” and just giving up on people. How do you deal with people who simply won’t listen to reason? I have even gone as far as printing out peer reviewed research journals and handing them the articles, and they still refuse to believe the research. I think I’m going to just start lying to people and saying I’m a vegan and go to spinning class 6 hours a day.
Thanks!
Chad
Chad,
I have moments where I would like to just watch it burn. I get annoyed and overwhelmed and think my sanity would be better served by just going dark; simply go back to lifting weights in my garage and using the Internet for what it was intended for, downloading music, booking travel and wasting time.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61XUb28jkUI[/youtube]
Then I get an email from a friend telling me how well his football team did this year. How the players are improving by leaps and bounds and are excited to start training again.
Or the email I got from Eric in Monrovia letting me know one of his athletes earned a D-1 scholarship.
Or the coolest emails from some FOB in the middle of Afghanistan, telling me the training has helped make better soldiers.
Or text messages from other friends updating me on their progress. Many have been following the program since the early days and still making great amateur-ish gains on the program.
And the Power Athlete crew stopping by to BBQ and have drinks on a Sunday because they haven’t seen me in a few days. Having twins is pretty time consuming.
What keeps the wheels turning are friendship. And taking part in the improvements of those friends and the personal learning and growth that takes place as a result of it. Life is a collection of experiences, many positive, many negative, but all invaluable. And I still believe what my father told me, the mark of a great man is measured by the effect you have on others.
Iron sharpens iron.
John
Yes, I feel like this all the time. I sound like a broken record and yet people will continue to abuse their bodies with processed food. Just when I want to say forget it…something happens and one person will listen to me. My sister with MS, my best friend with IBS issues, a co-worker that wants to lose weight. They are all listening. My parents that sent me an email and said they ate their hamburgers without bread and thought it tasted pretty good! So I keep going and hope someday to make a difference. I am pretty passionate about it so it is hard to stop! 🙂 I hope someday to put a degree up with my mouth and really make them listen!
Hey John,
I followed your programming when you first got started, it took me from practice squad on my university rugby team to riding the bench. To most people might not sound like a huge accomplishment but getting to step on the field for me was a huge goal for me.
Thanks for the programming!
You forgot porn. The Internet is mostly used for porn.
I know…that was too easy.
I hear you Chad. Every time I’m at a dinner party, bbq, anything….someone always begs for the secret to health. I used to try and be their guiding light. Now, I just say “lift heavy weights, do some sprints, sleep 8 hours and cut out gluten entirely. No, don’t cut out carbs completely. Gluten isn’t a carb. Here’s my business card.” The reply is “I can’t do that.” My reply is “You can, you just won’t.”
I now only concern myself with helping those who want and deserve it and life is much easier. John, please don’t go dark. You are helping others and helping them help others. You’re in my top 5 for biggest influences in my career. You, Robb Wolf, K-Star, Rip and Raph. Pretty solid company.
[…] Watch It All Burn Simple Shrimp Salad DeFranco’s Training Rules for Washed-up Meatheads […]
Now you know why I don’t coach, and instead, carry matches and some charcoal fluid.
I struggle with the same thing, this is how I have convinced myself to keep saying it:
People sometimes think that you have to help everyone for it to count. I know it is a worn out cliche, but think about what can happen if just one person gets it. Sometimes we forget really how amazing it is to help a single other person find their way to awesomeness. It helps to keep in mind that the next person is going to be the one that gets it, or the next time I tell them is the time it’s going to click. (Sometimes it doesn’t work and feel like hanging it up.)
To have a list of impacts that John mentioned above is awe inspiring. Well done sir, and it is a privilege to have access to your knowledge.
John and Chad,
Thanks guys for this. As a frustrated HS coach, this was much needed. I cannot describe how much this was needed for me to read. Thank you guys.
ca
If the good people drop off the radar there’ll only be fitards and keyboard experts left.
There’s a silent majority worth being out there for.
Keep up your great work.
Truth!
Everyone who asks about diet and fitness advice is worthy of your best answer.
Once.
The second my advice is met with resistance the tact gets drastically changed.
We start by mentioning how the inquisitor’s diet and current fitness regime or lack thereof is obviously serving him well and how I cannot believe he asked for advice in the first place. Then I go into this little tirade:
“You know, maybe YOU are supposed to be soft and weak. You know, Mr. “I can’t do that”, in a less polite society the local marauders would just take your wife and daughters while you stood there with your Taco Bell, unable to protect your family or yourself. Yes, you probably can’t train or eat well which is just fine….there are others who need your social security money after you drop dead of a heart attack at age 50. You’re right…staying fit is too hard. Doctors need people like you anyway so they can stay in business. Don’t get me wrong. I like having you around. You’re making me look even better than I really am. In fact, you’d be great to have around if I’m ever in bear country. If we’re attacked by an angry Grizzly for instance, I don’t have to out-run the bear, I just have to outrun you. Obviously that’ll be a piece of cake. Speaking of cake….why don’t you grab another slice you disgusting fat-body. Yeah, get away from me before your weakness and bad attitude infects me.”
Then I walk away.
I don’t know if my approach has ever helped anyone, but I feel pretty damn good after that exchange.
Discovering your program was one of the most significant events as far as my training goes. The “..things I learned in 2012” article is a strongly encouraged read for anyone I do not hate. I just wanna say thanks. In a world full of skeleton runners, CFFB is what keeps me and my guys from menstruating.
You gotta take the bad with the good! My family members do not believe the results in robs book, so they continue eating a sugar loaded yogurt for breakfast and. nothing else through out the day! I tell them that cleaning up my diet alone has helped me with my P.T.S.D. I don’t have as much nightmares, i actually want to get out of bed and kick the living shit out of each day and i am not as moody or short fused! It is great!!! The fact that i made a promise to myself, when i was still laying in the hospital bed, that i will NEVER take a pill for sleeping or anxiety! Turns out, i use food as my medicine!
But my mom strength trains now, instead of zumba and she calls me every time she blasts steel thanking me for giving her the motivation to train! It is a step by step process!
hallelujah holla back!
Ben
Oh, forgot! and pain meds too!!!!
I think people are fighting against thier own egos in this case. You have to get them involved in what you do, literally to touch smell and feel, what you do.
When they lose 20 lbs, and they are not part of the sheeple again. They will understand.
[…] May 8, 2013 at 5:33 am […]