Is the Most Interesting Man in the World really that interesting?
On the surface he seems to be, but I am not sure. He is always dressed in a tux, laughing over drinks but have you seen him do anything that would indicate he is a guy’s guy?
The better question is, how do you know a dude is a guy’s guy?
Example one, while at the gym, the starter on your 1967 Shelby GT 500 goes bad and takes the battery with it. You order parts off of Summit Racing and prepare to tackle the job. You call a friend to bring you a floor jack as your jack is in storage. He shows up at the gym early, with floor jack and remembers the jack stands (friend one passes guy code test). You jack the car up and begin to surgically remove the starter that is wedged in between the header pipe and suspension. Friend number two walks over and asks, “What are you doing?” You reply, “Replacing the starter.” He replies, “Cool. Can I help?” 3 trips to Auto Zone, 5 skinned knuckles and 7 hours later the mustang breathes deep and fires all 500+ horses and your friend smiles and says he has to run (friend two passes guy code test).
In gyms around the world, Fridays are reserved for dynamic squats. We do this in the morning and run in small groups according to strength. Usually, no more than three guys to group, but it works best in groups of two. Two guys lift while the others guys coach and run the monolift.
Guy number one is injured and can not train but still shows up to rack weights, coach and run the monolift so the others can have a good training session. He passes. Guy number two decides he wants to go away for the weekend with his girlfriend and trains on Thursday and does not show up. He leaves his training partners in a lurch, as he does not tell them he is a flake. He fails instantly and will not be let back in the group. Lifter number three is at the gym training and watches the session escalate to 20+ sets and can only comment on how good your abs look. He fails miserably.
If a guy gets done training or is hanging out with other guys and leaves to get something to eat and does not bring something back for the other guys, he has fails the most basic guy test. Even if he asks if you want something to eat and you say no, and he still does not bring you something back, he fails. Guys will always eat if there is extra food.
Example three, comes at the beach. If guy number one asks you to put sun tan lotion on his back, he fails. Actually, you both fail, him for asking you and you for going to the beach with a guy that would ask you to put sun tan lotion on his back.
The final guy test comes down to what drink a guy orders at a bar.
*Now I have to put in a disclaimer for my sober friends who have found out the hard way that one is too many and a hundred drinks is not enough. You get a pass on this, so refer to the other examples.
When the bartender asks, “What will it be?” You had better know; a guy always knows his drink. Any hesitation just shows other guys one of two things. One, you don’t hang out very much with other guys and are not to be trusted. Or, you do not know who you are as a man. However, the only thing worse than hesitation is a poor choice. If a guy asks for something to be blended he should be admonished. If he orders a drink that has a sexual connotation, he should be punched . If he orders something made famous by Sex in the City, you should run. If he orders a beer, tequila or whiskey he passes.
I guess we have answered our question about the World’s Most Interesting Man.
“I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.”
Gin and tonic.
Lucky for me, I have enough back hair that sunscreen isn’t necessary, there.
Ahhh….. The Balboa Way.
Thanks for my fix =)
Wait….do White Russians pass? Are you going to blackball The Dude???
White Russians should pass if ingested before noon…any later should constitute a fail. Manly P.M. whiskey drinkin’ should be done straight.
Very glad the Shelby started, such a great sound!!
What if a guy opts to see Bridesmaids instead of Thor?
Dude who spends his time thinking about hypothetical situations including putting oil on his friend’s back? = fail
[…] TTMJ- Do you pass or fail? […]
White Russians are a dead give away that a guy is playing for the other team. That is why the Big Lebowski is so odd.
Ryan seems to be a critic. Nothing worse the guy who does not appreciate another man’s humor. Total fail.
John you are right. You are my god.
Thanks Ryan 🙂
Anyway, the workout programming rocks and you were an Eagle which is also badass. Keep it up.
sorry to say you’re not too funny though…
[…] Do You Pass or Fail? – TTMJ […]
[…] Do you pass or fail? – TTMJ […]
Great article; however, I have to dissagree that the most interesting man in world is really all that interesting. Solely because of the statement “I don’t drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.” To me, obviously the guy doesn’t drink beer because Dos Equis is a horrible beer. The statement is just stupid, if they guy doesn’t drink beer, then why the HELL would we listen to him in the first place? Drink craft beers people, don’t support the big beer companies who are trying to whipe out microbrewers or prevent them from getting larger because they control the distribution companies.
regularly reading and agreeing with TTMJ. pass.
working on old Classics and drinking whiskey at the barn, sounds good to me. John, the car pic the other day was sick. Just started restoration on 74 Landcruiser, hope this passes test?
Emoticons – normally a clear fail . . . except when used with laser-guided sarcasm revealing a mastery of both irony and the absurdity of online communication. Then, pass.
Gin and soda water. I learned last year that tonic is made from HFCS=fail. Real men don’t ingest HFCS.
He said, “I don’t ALWAYS drink beer…” not “I don’t drink beer…” big difference… sentence interpretation fail
Oh Hells, YEA, BOOM! This is goood shiz, JW!
Agreement on all of that…….definitely a Gin and tonic man, if not a McSorley’s Pale Ale.
[…] Do you pass or fail? – TTMJ […]
Way to perpetuate homophobia in the football world.
Talk to me Johnnie=FAIL.
I don’t think I had anything about football in there.
And I am assuming you are a girl (or a sorry dude) so you have no understanding of this article.
Alix = Fail
What? Where did John say that any of the rules had anything to do with homosexuals? You made it homophobic because that was your interpretation, which possibly alludes to your complete lack of gay friends. Ask your “Local Bear”: Dude rules apply to dudes, regardless of their sexual persuasion.
From what I know about the guy, he really is an interesting man. He and his wife are/ were actors, he was retiring, she encouraged him to try our for the spot, has a big sailboat he sails, appreciates cigars and a good drink. I think he is in his 70’s.